Golf Twitter Wars: Good, Bad or Just Plain Ridiculous?

GREG

Dear Rick: I almost tweeted you this letter, seeing that you have a fondness for all things Twitter. Indeed, it shouldn’t take me more than 140 characters to convince you that, just like there’s no crying in baseball, there should be no tweeting in golf. Why are you so obsessed with following the exploits of PGA professionals? I mean, what could these guys POSSIBLY tweet about? Ooh, how about this?

“Greens bumpy today. Only two under. #Iplaygolfforalivingandyoudon’t #Hahaha #LOL

See what I mean?

Also, the last thing I need to see are Twitter wars among golfers, similar to those crybaby-fests that have infiltrated the NBA and NFL. I was glad to see Sergio and Tiger insult each other the old fashioned way: through the press. A feud is much more believable when you’re not adding hashtags to your “fried chicken” and “always whining about something” comments. So please let me know when you’ve unfollowed Jason, Stewart, Keegan, Bubba and the rest of them. Okay?


RICK

My friend Greg: There is no chance I’m going to unfollow any golfers, in fact I just followed Graeme, Luke, Ian and even Holly Sonders, but I’m following her for an entirely different reason. Standard golf etiquette says that golfers must behave like gentlemen while at the course. There are no such rules that apply while on Twitter - thankfully.

Greg, you more than anybody I know, should appreciate tweets where people whine and make fun of everything life throws at us - you make fun of them weekly in your act. While these golfers appear stoic and boring while on the course, in many instances they are wildly entertaining and engaging on Twitter.

Take Jason Dufner as one example. On the course he is as emotionless and a dull as a zucchini, but on Twitter he’s hilarious. During the fall, he gives his football picks and supports his Auburn Tigers football team with undying devotion. That’s reason enough to follow him. If these golfers exchange some barbs and trash talk, that’s a bonus!

Recently, I spent hours staring at my TweetDeck screen waiting for Tiger’s response to Sergio’s fried chicken statement. When it came, it was classic Tiger.

On a side note, how would I find the best BBQ joints in every city in America if I wasn’t following Stewart Cink?

Whoops, gotta go. Rickie Fowler just answered my direct message on how to flatten out the bill of my cap. #followyourfavoritePGApro.


GREG

Okay Rick, I took your advice and followed Luke Donald, since we share one thing in common: a degree from Northwestern University. So far I’ve read a bunch of tweets about his wine collection, his trip to England to meet the Queen and his affinity for Miyazaki beef. He even used the word “chuffed” in a tweet. #onsecondthought #nothingincommonwiththisguy

If players want to needle each other and give restaurant recommendations then let’s put microphones on all of them. Then I wouldn’t need an internet connection to hear their thoughts. Also, if Ricky Fowler can swing with a cap bill the size of Donald Duck’s beak clouding his vision, a small microphone shouldn’t be too burdensome. Shall I suggest that to the PGA Tour? Better yet, should I tweet it?

RICK

Go ahead and tweet it Greg but with your follower count, not many will hear it, You told me in the past that the great thing about social media sites like Twitter is that now everybody has a voice. The golfers know they have a voice, so they are going to try and be entertaining. As a comedian, you have to find some entertainment value in pro golfers trying to be funny. If they are informative in the process, that’s a bonus. Not to change the subject, but what caddies do you follow?

GREG

#ouchthathurts #nolongermyfriend